thinking hurts

Throughout the world, at any given moment, the justifiable aims of legitimate geo-nations are being threatened by reckless individuals who insist on indulging their private, inscrutable agendas. The prospect of a world plagued by these fluid-nations — a world in which one’s identification with, and loyalty to, one’s parent geo-nation is constantly being undermined — is sobering indeed. This state of affairs would not only allow for, but require, a constant, round-the-clock reassessment of one’s values and beliefs prior to action, a continual adjustment of one’s loyalties and priorities based on an ongoing evaluation and reevaluation of reality — a process that promises to be as inefficient as it is wearying.

— George Saunders, “A Survey of the Literature” (from The Braindead Microphone)

Philosophy in the Morgue

Philosophy in the Morgue. “My nephew was obviously a failure. If he had succeeded in making something of himself he would have had a different ending than . . . this.” “You know, Madame,” I replied to the monumental matron who had addressed me, “whether one succeeds or not comes down to the same thing.” “You’re right,” she said, after a few seconds’ thought. This unexpected acquiescence on the part of such a woman moved me almost as much as the death of my friend.

— E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born

authentic poetry has nothing to do with “poetry”

In one medieval exorcism, all the parts of the body, even the smallest, are listed from which the demon is ordered to depart: a kind of lunatic anatomy treatise, fascinating for its hypertrophy of precision, its profusion of unexpected details. A scrupulous incantation. Leave the nails! Fanatic but not without poetic effect. For authentic poetry has nothing to do with “poetry.”

— E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born

Lovers’ Spat on Mars

The existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon.
Dr. Manhattan

There’s no scientific consensus that life is important.
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth

Dr. Manhattan's floating Martian crystal palace

Laurie is crying. On Mars.

DR. MANHATTAN: Will you smile . . . if I admit I was wrong?

LAURIE: . . . About what?

DR. MANHATTAN: . . . Miracles . . . Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like . . . oxygen turning into gold. . . . I’ve longed to witness such an event, and yet, I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation, until . . . finally . . . your mother . . . loves a man — Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction against unfathomable odds:  it’s you. Only you that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos . . . is like turning air into gold. . . A miracle.

Laurie smiles faintly.

And so . . . I was wrong.
Now dry your eyes. . . And let’s go home.

[From Watchmen — the movie, not the graphic novel. I’m just winging the punctuation.]

The Stranger-God

That night he had a terrible dream, if dream is the right word for a bodily and mental experience which did indeed overtake him during deepest sleep, in complete independence of his will and with complete sensuous vividness, but with no perception of himself as present and moving about in any space external to the events themselves; rather, the scene of the events was his own soul, and they irrupted into it from outside, violently defeating his resistance — a profound, intellectual resistance — as they passed through him, and leaving his whole being, the culture of a lifetime, devastated and destroyed.

It began with fear, fear and joy and a horrified curiosity about what was to come. It was night, and his senses were alert; for from far off a hubbub was approaching, an uproar, a compendium of noise, a clangor and blare and dull thundering, yells of exultation and a particular howl with a long-drawn-out u at the end — all of it permeated and dominated by a terrible sweet sound of flute music: by deep-warbling, infamously persistent, shamelessly clinging tones that bewitched the innermost heart. Yet he was aware of a word, an obscure word, but one that gave a name to what was coming: “the stranger-god!” There was a glow of smoky fire: in it he could see a mountain landscape, like the mountains round his summer home. And in fragmented light, from wooded heights, between tree trunks and mossy boulders, it came tumbling and whirling down: a human and animal swarm, a raging rout, flooding the slope with bodies, with flames, with tumult and frenzied dancing. Women, stumbling on the hide garments that fell too far about them from the waist, held up tambourines and moaned as they shook them above their thrown-back heads; they swung blazing torches, scattering the sparks, and brandishing naked daggers; they carried snakes with flickering tongues which they had seized in the middle of the body, or they bore up their own breasts in both hands, shrieking as they did so. Men with horns over their brows, hairy-skinned and girdled with pelts, bowed their necks and threw up their arms and thighs, clanging brazen cymbals and beating a furious tattoo on drums, while smooth-skinned boys prodded goats with leafy staves, clinging to their horns and yelling with delight as the leaping beasts dragged them along. And the god’s enthusiasts howled out the cry with the soft consonants and the long-drawn-out final u, sweet and wild both at once, like no cry that was ever heard: here it was raised, belled out into the air as by rutting stags, and there they threw it back with many voices, in ribald triumph, urging each other on with it to dancing and tossing of limbs, and never did it cease. But the deep, enticing flute music mingled irresistibly with everything. Was it not also enticing him, the dreamer who experienced all this while struggling not to, enticing him with shameless insistence to the feast and frenzy of the uttermost surrender? Great was his loathing, great his fear, honorable his effort of will to defend to the last what was his and protect it from the Stranger, against the enemy of the composed and dignified intellect. But the noise, the howling grew louder, with the echoing cliffs reiterating it: it increased beyond measure, swelled up to enrapturing madness. Odors besieged the mind, the pungent reek of the goats, the scent of panting bodies and an exhalation as of staling waters, with another smell, too, that was familiar: that of wounds and wandering disease. His heart throbbed to the drumbeats, his brain whirled, a fury seized him, a blindness, a dizzying lust, and his soul craved to join the round-dance of the god. The obscene symbol, wooden and gigantic, was uncovered and raised on high: and still more unbridled grew the howling of the rallying cry. With foaming mouths they raged, they roused each other with rude gestures and licentious hands, laughing and moaning they thrust the prods into each other’s flesh and licked the blood from each other’s limbs. But the dreamer now was with them and in them, he belonged to the Stranger-God. Yes, they were himself as they flung themselves, tearing and slaying, on the animals and devoured steaming gobbets of flesh, they were himself as an orgy of limitless coupling, in homage to the god, began on the trampled, mossy ground. And his very soul savored the lascivious delirium of annihilation.

Out of this dream the stricken man woke unnerved, shattered and powerlessly enslaved to the daemon-god. . . .

— Thomas Mann, Death in Venice [translated by David Luke]

Nostalgia for a simpler sexual time, when lyrics were used to express real emotion

I used to love music, back when it had melody and chords and lyrics. But now it has no melody and no chords, just thwack-thwacking, and they even seem to be cutting back on the thwack-thwacking, so now it’s sometimes just thwa, and as far as lyrics, do you consider these lyrics?

Hump my bump,
My stumpy lumpy lumpy hump!
Hump my dump, you lumpy slumpy dump!
I’ll dump your hump, and then just hump your dump,
You lumpy frumply clump.

I’m sorry. To me? Those are not lyrics. In my day, lyrics were used to expressed real emotion, like the emotion of being totally stoned and trying to talk this totally stoned chick into sleeping with you in the name of love, which lasted forever, if only you held on to your dreams.

— George Saunders, “Nostalgia,” from The Braindead Megaphone

[Editor’s Note: This is funnier if you are familiar with “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas]

Philosophers’ Conceit

Once you ask yourself so-called philosophical questions and employ the inevitable jargon, you assume a superior, aggressive manner, and this in a realm where, the insoluble being de rigueur, humility should be also. This anomaly is merely apparent: the more formidable the questions you confront, the more you lose your head: ultimately you bestow upon yourself the dimensions they possess. If the pride of theologians “stinks” even more than that of the philosophers, it is because one does not concern oneself with God with impunity: one reaches the point of arrogating to oneself certain of His attributes — the worst, of course.

— E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born

this is what happens to us all when we look outside ourselves for what can exist only inside

Gogol, in hopes of a “regeneration,” journeys to Nazareth and discovers he is as bored there as “in a Russian railroad station” — this is what happens to us all when we look outside ourselves for what can exist only inside.

— E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born

we ourselves become unreal

When we discern the unreality of everything, we ourselves become unreal, we begin to survive ourselves, however powerful our vitality, however imperious our instincts. But they are no longer anything but false instincts, and false vitality.

— E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born

diabolic principle man

In what we have agreed to call “civilization,” there resides, undeniably, a diabolic principle man has become conscious of too late, when it was no longer possible to remedy it.

— E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born

the indictment of birth

Three in the morning. I realize this second, then this one, then the next: I draw up the balance sheet for each minute. And why all this? Because I was born. It is a special type of sleeplessness that produces the indictment of birth.

— E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born

No one has lived so close to his skeleton as I have lived to mine

No one has lived so close to his skeleton as I have lived to mine: from which results an endless dialogue and certain truths which I manage neither to accept nor to reject.

— E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born

Virtue’s intolerance

It is easier to get on with vices than with virtues. The vices, accommodating by nature, help each other, are full of mutual indulgence, whereas the jealous virtues combat and annihilate each other, showing in everything their incompatibility and their intolerance.

— E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born