if I make a gesture of despair…



At least let me carry the glory of my disillusion as if it were the disillusion of a great dream, let me carry it toward the immense possible of the abyss of all, let me carry the splendor of not believing, like a banner of defeat — a banner in week hands, but raised on high as we sink in the shifting sands, no one knows if I protest, if I defy, if I make a gesture of despair… No one knows because no one knows anything, and the sands engulf those who carry banners as well as those who don’t…

— Bernardo Soares (Fernando Pessoa), The Book of Disquiet

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